Lying to Myself
by CarEtoDreaM
Summary: Being happy actually isn't as easy as it looks… happiness is underrated.
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Yeah… I know that I really should be working on **Repeat to Me What You Said Again?!** but this idea wouldn't get out of my head… and I'm going to be brutally honest with you all, I haven't started the next chapter at all yet. Sure the ideas have been swimming around in my head but I haven't put them all in my head yet. I promise I'll have it up in another month or so. Sorry for the long wait.

VERY IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE!

I REPEAT, THIS STORY IS **NOT** GOING TO BE A HARRY/GINNY STORY!!! IT'S GOING TO BE A GINNY/BLAISE STORY (I just decided that right after writing this whole chapter/prologue things =D I've never written a Ginny/Blaise story so I thought it'd be interesting. =D)

Lying To Myself

CarEtoDreaM

Summary: Being happy actually isn't as easy as it looks… happiness is underrated.

Sometimes it's actually really hard to be happy, it really is. I'm not that sure of how many times I've lied to myself that I'm happy again. There are even more numbers of the times that I've lied to my friends telling them that I was happy. I feel so pathetic sometimes, I mean, what reason do I have to be depressed? My family loves me, I have the most incredible friends, and even though we're poor, my family still manages to get us everything that we need and even some things that we only want. It makes me feel really selfish a lot of times, thinking about how I think I have a bad life when I really have it good compared to so many people. But what can I do about it? It's not like I haven't tried to be happy. I've actually tried so many times it's become useless to try and remember all of the times.

I suppose that there is one key responsibility to all the sadness… the reason is pathetic really, but it's not like I choose who I fall in love with. I guess things like falling in love just happen, you never plan it or anything. I sure as hell didn't plan on falling in love with Harry Potter. So maybe it really wasn't that surprising or anything, but it really started out as only a simple school girl crush. I didn't see it escalating into love. I really didn't. I didn't want to fall in love with Harry Potter. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. I was only supposed to fancy Harry for a couple months, maybe one or two years at most… but now I'm in my sixth year and I still haven't fallen out of it yet.

I feel really pathetic about it all. One main reason to that too. Harry's never going to notice me you know. I'm always going to be a little sister to him, and there's a reason for that too. Maybe if I hadn't tried to always act like I only thought of him as only an older brother, he may have seen as more than a little sister. But I even had to go on ahead and tell him that he was only like another brother to me. Pretty pathetic aren't I? You don't just go tell the person that you love that you only think of them as a brother. It was a stupid thing to say and I've been regretting it for the past two years. I'm a sodding idiot.

The only person that Harry had ever liked between his first and sixth year was Cho Chang, but now she was no longer in Hogwarts and their relationship had never worked out anyways. I assumed that once Cho had left Hogwarts, Harry could have maybe noticed me. That wasn't the case however. Turns out that Padma Patil isn't nearly as air headed as her sister Parvati. She didn't fall in love with Harry because of his name, she fell in love with him because of his personality. And as much as I hate to admit it, I had never seen Harry more happy than when he was with her and I knew that he had fallen in love. I suppose he has a thing for Ravenclaws.

I was nothing compared to Cho and Padma, they were both beautiful and I couldn't compete with them at all when it came to looks. I'm not trying to be modest because I'm merely stating the truth. I'm pretty and attractive, yes, but nothing to get excited over. Just another Weasley except with long hair and breasts. My height is nothing to be proud of either, I stand at a mere five foot two inches, pretty pathetic right? I know that Harry isn't one that is shallow enough to only like someone for their looks, but it's what any person notices first in another person. Sad but true…

Winter break starts after the end of classes today. Ron, Hermione, Harry, Padma, and I are all going to be staying at Hogwarts for the two weeks of break along with a couple more students from each house. I'm not all that sure on whether I should be thankful for the lack of people or worried about it. There's a simple reason for that because when I'm alone I can't help but begin to think about things. And whenever I begin to think, it's never good. Because when I think, it only manages to screw up my feelings. Everyone says I think too much, and I suppose that they're right. I trust them more than I trust myself.

* * *

A/N: so… how was it? Keep in mind though, that this was only a prologue!!! The next chapter will be longer! And I **really** want feedback on how this story is please people!! SO REVIEW!!! And tell me what you think of the story! Constructive criticism is welcome.


	2. That Fake Smile

A/N: Here is the next chapter.

Lying To Myself

That Fake Smile

CarEtoDreaM

Disclaimer: None of this is mine, except for Anne!!! =D she's **my** character!!! =D hehe

Summary: Being happy actually isn't as easy as it looks… happiness is underrated.

Charms Classroom

I sat next to my best friend Anne Wong, a girl who was in my house and grade, in my last class for the day, charms. Anne was Chinese, she had short black hair that was cut up to her chin with bangs falling into her eyes, and almond shaped eyes that crinkled up each time she smiled or laughed. Many people, including me considered her to be beautiful because of her personality and smile. Anne, however, didn't find herself pretty at all and only laughed each time somebody told her otherwise. She could care less about her looks and spent most of her time doing things that most girls would have cringed at doing. I guess that was one of the main reasons as to why she was my best friend, that and also because she was the best friend anyone could ever ask for.

"I'll see you all in two weeks after break is over. Have a great holiday, and no homework," Professor Flitwick said as the bell rang, dismissing the class.

"Yay! You're the best!" Anne, and the rest of the class cheered as we all gathered up our books, quill and parchment.

"So you're going to be staying here at school for break, correct?" Anne asked me as we walked out of the door heading towards the Gryffindor common room so Anne could pack up the last of her belongings. I would be walking with her later to the Hogsmeade train station since Anne was going back home for the holidays.

"Correct as usual," I replied back to her.

"I forget, why are you guys staying again? Something about your parents going somewhere?"

"Yeah, my parents have finally decided to take a vacation alone. Without the whole pack of kids trailing around them, they'll finally be guaranteed to have some peace and quiet."

"Lord knows that they deserve this trip. With having to raise seven kids, I'm surprised that they haven't lost all their hair from all the stress yet!"

"Hey!" I protested to Anne, swatting her lightly on the arm while she only laughed at me.

"You know it's true though right?"

I stuck my tongue out at her, "Stop talking and get into the darn room so you can finish up your packing. The train is going to leave in about an hour and we both know that it is going to take you about 30 minutes to pack and 20 minutes to walk to the train station."

"You know me all too well Ginny."

* * *

"Come on Anne, stop walking so slow! Speed up a little bit or you're going to miss your train!"

"It's hard to try and walk faster when you're carrying so much luggage!"

"I'm carrying even more than you are!"

Anne began laughing, "Oh yeah…"

I rolled my eyes at her but couldn't help but laugh myself. "Oh come on, we have to stop kidding around! You're really going to miss your train!"

"Funny how you're worrying about this more than I am Ginny."

"Thanks for pointing that out Anne, maybe I should just leave you here with all your luggage and you can make it by yourself the rest of the way."

"Just kidding!!!"

Hogsmeade Train Station

We reached the train station with about five minutes to spare. "Psh, I don't see why you were in such a hurry Ginny! We've made it here and I've still got some extra time before the train leaves!"

"You're hopeless Anne."

"I know I am," she said to me with a smile. Her smile disappeared quickly however, and she looked at me with a slight frown. "Do you want to tell me what's been bugging you lately Ginny?"

My smile faltered as I heard her words and I took in a sharp gasp of air… "What do you mean by that Anne?"

"Come on now Ginny, I'm your best friend. I can tell that something is bugging you even when the rest of the world may not notice. I can see through that fake smile of yours even though it is extremely convincing. The rest of the school may have been fooled, but I wasn't."

"How did you know?"

"I just knew Ginny. Don't ask me why because I'm not even that sure myself, but I could feel that something was bugging you and I guess I'm correct huh?"

"Correct as usual," I said, echoing the words that I had said earlier that afternoon. "Do you think that anybody else can see through it?"

"Nope, you actually did a really good job at hiding it Ginny," she turned her head towards me and smiled again. "But you can't fool me. I can see through your every façade. And I also know that there must have been a reason as to why you didn't tell me about it, so I'm not going to push you about it. You can tell me about it whenever you're ready. Just know that I'm always going to be here for you no matter what, always and forever."

The whistle rang to signal that the train was going to be leaving very soon. "I've got to get going now, the train's calling." She smiled at me again, she seemed to be always doing that, "But remember Ginny, whenever you need somebody, I'm going to be right here for you to talk to. I don't plan on leaving either. See you after break," she said to me and got on the train after one last hug and wave.

I stared at the spot where she had just been as the train pulled away, my mouth unable to produce any words, and my throat unable to make any sounds. I guess that as good my façade may have been, Anne just saw through it all that time… Another reason as to why she's my best friend.

Gryffindor Common Room

I sat in one of the oversized couches in the common room and stared into the fire still thinking about the words that Anne had just said to me not too long ago. I had never felt so loved in the longest time and for the first time in my months, I was really happy. All because of a couple sentences that a friend had said to me, I realized that somebody could really see who I was. I smiled again as I stared into the fire watching it as the flames spun around and the logs cackled softly from the heat.

"Hey Gin, we're going out to have a snow ball fight, want to join?"

I turned around from the flames and looked up into the smiling face of Harry Potter. I smiled at him, "Of course. Just give me a moment to get my cloak."

"Okay, I'll wait for you out here."

"Thanks Harry."

I got up from the chair and ran up the stairs to my dormitory. Reaching into my trunk I grabbed my worn, but still warm blue cloak. I threw it over me quickly after reaching for some mittens and a scarf and ran out to meet Harry in the room.

"That was quick," he said to me when I got to him.

I laughed at his comment, "Yeah, how long does it normally take you to get a cloak?"

He shook his head slightly before joining me in laughter, "Never like the average girl Ginny."

Outside Grounds: After Snowball Fight

Hermione, Harry, Padma and I all lay panting in the snow, exhausted after the snowball fight that had just taken place. Ron was the only one still standing, so he obviously declared himself as the winner. "HAHAHA!!! The almighty Ron wins once again! Therefore proving that he really is King of the World!"

I rolled my eyes and chuckled softly at Ron's stupid declaration of victory. It wouldn't harm at all to throw a little bit more snow at my darling older brother now would it? I grabbed a handful of snow, packed it into a tight ball and threw it at my brother. It his head, and he promptly shut his mouth turning around quickly to see who had thrown the snowball at his head.

I begin laughing merrily and Hermione, Harry, and Padma were all soon joining me. "I am so sorry your majesty!" I said in between laughter to Ron while giving him a mock bow.

Ron immediately turned red, "Hahaha, very funny Ginny," he muttered.

That only caused the four of us to laugh even harder and soon enough, even Ron was joining us in our laughter.

* * *

"We're going to head back inside now Ginny, you sure you don't want to come back in yet?" Hermione asked me as the rest of them got ready to head back inside.

I attempted to nod my head from where I lay with my arms and legs spread out like I was trying to make a snow angel. "I'm sure Hermione, you guys just head on back inside without me. I'll be back before you know it."

"Ok then Gin, we'll see you later."

"Yep, and don't forget to make me a cup of hot chocolate too!"

"I know, and I'll be sure to keep a warming spell on it so it stays warm for you too!"

I smiled again, "Thanks Hermione, you're the best."

She chuckled softly at my response.

I lay there in the snow comfortably, with my cloak fanned out underneath me to prevent my robes from getting wet from the snow. I let my mind wander off to random things. I'm not sure how long I lay there but it was beginning to get really comfortable. Just a couple more minutes and I would get back into Hogwarts. I felt my eyelids flutter over my eyes and I closed them in a moment of tiredness. Just a little while longer…

* * *

I snuggled deeper into the soft, comfortable, and warm blankets. Just a little while longer and I was going to get up off the snow and back into Hogwarts. Wait a second… if I'm outside… why would there be blankets? I opened my eyes quickly and sat up in the bed that I was sleeping on. I blinked my eyes quickly at the bright light and took in the extreme whiteness of the room… I must be in the Hospital Wing then… but wh--

"I've seen you've finally waken up Little Weasley."

I turned to look in the direction of the voice and found myself staring at Blaise Zabini lounging in one of the many uncomfortable chairs that were situated in the hospital wing.

* * *

A/N: muhehahahaha, I don't know. That's not something that would be considered a cliff hanger right? I mean… there isn't that much that you have to wonder about. Ok people, could I please get some reviews here??? I only got one!!! And I would like to thank **Angel-Face101** for the wonderful review. I'm glad that you think my story is good!!! For everybody else… PLEASE REVIEW!!!


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